The 5 Types of Suburbs in America
From favela to country club, America's suburbs have diverged thanks to vibrant diversity
America’s cities are international embarrassments. Under the radar over the past few decades, their demoralization zones have spread to subvert the surrounding suburbs. As the border opened, the middle class eroded and many towns deteriorated. Every real estate broker and prospective buyer knows the differences, but are not allowed to talk about them. That is why you are here for spicy commentary on the 5 types of suburbs you will find in America.
Favela
Favelas are third world ethnic enclaves. They no longer resemble America. English is not the primary language. Anyone who does not belong to the dominant group of the favela is not welcome and made to feel out of place. The real estate and public schools are even worse than the inner cities. Local governments and economies are geared towards maximizing welfare and fraud. Obama engineered many of these no-go zones with his Section 8 assault on the suburbs to create deep blue voting blocs.
Examples: Dearborn (MI), Lawrence (MA), Frisco (TX)
Post-Industrial Wasteland
Factory towns across the heartland were devastated by globalization. They were once thriving economic hubs where single-income households could support large families. Now the infrastructure and people have deteriorated, dependent on handouts and drugs. JD Vance wrote Hillbilly Elegy to describe his childhood growing up in one of these places. Most are still relatively homogenous and MAGA oriented. If our government and corporations diverted funds to revitalize these areas instead of domestic favelas and foreign countries, they can reach their former glories. Biden targeted many for further destruction by flying in planeloads of Haitians, Hondurans, Guatemalans, etc.
Examples: Springfield (OH), Flint (MI), Charleroi (PA)
Brooklyn Burb
Not long ago, these places were just another sleepy suburb. Then a city newspaper profiled them as trendy places to live. AWFL soy hipsters flooded in. They colonized the culture with their urban leftist sensibilities. Rainbow flags, “Hate has No Home Here, and “In this house we believe” lawn signs are planted everywhere. They vote in North Korea margins for team blue’s affordable housing policies, then complain when it gets built in their backyard. Taxes keep going up, but services keep getting worse.
Examples: Montclair (NJ), Newton (MA), Evanston (IL), every college town
Americana
The sweet spot. Americana suburbs have retained their charm and vitality. These high-trust tight-knit communities are anchored around institutions like churches, little league, and local civic traditions. Neighbors are friends. Kids play outside on their own with no crime. American flags are everywhere to show that it is a multi-generational home for patriots, not an economic zone for transplants. The vast majority of suburbs used to be Americana, but many have descended into favelas, wastelands, and Brooklyn. Now we must protect them because they are the last livable places to raise families.
Examples: Not telling so they don’t get ruined!
Country Club
If you want to live near a major city but avoid diversity, you have to pay a price. Starter homes in country club suburbs cost well over $1 million. Only the wealthy can afford them. Unless they inherited money or had a massive liquidity event, both parents need to work stressful high salaried jobs to afford the property taxes, child care, private school, club membership fees, and keep up with the Joneses. The vibe is pleasant, but snobby. Gated communities and McMansions require security to keep crime out from neighboring areas. When we don’t have borders for our nation, we will have borders in the shrinking nice areas that were the standard a generation ago.
Examples: Greenwich (CT), Palo Alto (CA), Beverly Hills (CA)
The only way to meaningfully increase the supply of housing and make America affordable again is mass deportations and incarceration:
How To Make America Affordable Again
Comrades: Abundance and affordability can be achieved through deportation and incarceration - welcome to MAGA Econ/PoliSci 101.
There's a #6 in there: The Formerly Country suburb. It's the place that used to be a smattering of farms and acreage, inhabited by people who were living there on purpose to be away from the urban sprawl only to find themselves being sucked up in urban sprawl and having to deal with the problems that come with it (NIMBYs, hicklibs, NPR soaked "homesteaders" who gently condescend to the ignorant yokels that know that they're doing).
Let’s drop the facade—this is economic and cultural engineering, and the middle class is the casualty. When you offshore industry, flood labor markets, inflate housing, and expand dependency, you don’t just “evolve” suburbs—you fracture them. The stable, self-sufficient American family becomes an endangered species, squeezed between decline and unaffordable “safety.” That’s not a bug, it’s the outcome. Because a strong middle class is independent, and independence is hard to control. What you’re left with is a two-tier system: elites insulated at the top, instability below. And the middle? It’s being erased in real time while everyone pretends it’s just the market at work.