How To Make Arranged Marriage Great Again

My remarks at the 2025 Natal Conference

Comrades: I made my first speaking appearance at NatalCon last weekend. It was an epic gathering full of great patriots who love their families. Here are my remarks:

Good afternoon. It’s fantastic to be here with you all. Thank you Kevin and team for hosting us. This is the first time I am face doxxing to speak at a conference and I can think of no better place to do it. I have enjoyed becoming pen pals with many of you over the years and look forward to making new friends here.

Well comrades, clearly I am not an old Russian spy. I am not trans racial or trans living. The real Yuri was a KGB defector who gave a legendary speech about ideological subversion in 1984 and passed away in 1993. He tried to warn us about the demoralization from anti-human and anti-natal forces that have taken over our civilization since he spoke.

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So who am I and why should we make arranged marriage great again?

I am the son and grandson of men who were subjected to struggle sessions during the Chinese Cultural Revolution. They escaped Communism and are forever grateful for America’s freedoms. But the struggle sessions followed us here. I have witnessed them in the belly of the beast: in the Ivy League, New York, and the tech industry.

Here’s a secret…

I am also the product of an arranged marriage - more on that later.

My writing carries my ancestors’ and Yuri’s legacy to counter the subversion I’ve seen, while aspiring for white pills. I randomly launched a Substack a few years ago during the brightest and darkest time in my life. We welcomed our daughter into the world, then my employer at the time fired me for refusing to get a COVID booster. Becoming a father is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have no regrets about taking a stand.

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Now that you know the origin story, let’s talk about “How To Make Arranged Marriage Great Again”. When you hear that term, what goes through your mind? Did you get uncomfortable? The stigma around arranged marriage comes from backwards cultures where women are forced into marriages, sometimes with cousins.

That is definitely not what I am advocating for here. For the journalists in the room, let me repeat - I am against forced arranged marriages. If you want to learn more about those, you can go to East London, Malmo, or Mogadishu. I believe consensual arranged marriages can work within modern Western norms and lead to more babies. Consensual means that parents play matchmaker and provide suggestions, but their adult children have veto power and are free to opt out.

This was the norm for America and Europe until the industrial revolution, and it produced much higher birth rates compared to the current year. My thesis is that the time has arrived for this tradition to return. It will lead to more happy marriages and more happy children who want to have many children of their own. Gatherings like NatalCon, growing new institutions like EXIT, and the people in this room will rebuild a high-trust, high-fertility society.

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The only chart I need to show you is with my hands. Couples who meet online or at a bar have spiked up and to the right like this, while couples who meet through family or church have plummeted like this. Divorce rates have gone up, while fertility rates have gone down. Who knows you better - algorithms and alcohol, or family and God?

From a purely mathematical and logical standpoint, the best way to boost birth rates are for pro-natal couples to get married younger. Consensual arranged marriage solves for that. It subverts 3 subversive anti-natal memes:

1) Your 20s are for dating and sleeping around in the big cities;
2) Kids are a burden not a joy, so wait as long as possible before having them and focus on your career first;
3) In-laws are annoying; multigenerational households and grandparents helping raise many grandkids is weird - use nannies and daycare instead.

Traditional conservative families understand that their sons and daughters are not only marrying a spouse, but merging two families into one. They also know that marrying younger is beneficial to maturity, stability, and fertility. Yet the demoralizing forces of our culture are so strong that even children from those families who end up on campuses like this one will get caught up in the anti-natal memes.

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Of course, it’s going to be a bit awkward. You shouldn’t go home after this conference and tell your kids: Hey, you should marry the kids of my random internet friends! Values-aligned families can socialize the idea with their teenage children as part of pro-natal “birds and the bees” conversations.

“The talk” will go something along the lines of: “Starting a family is the best thing you will do in life. Prioritize finding the right spouse and having kids. It will enhance everything else you do, including careers. What do you think of [NAME] or [NAME]? We know their families from church and believe you would get along well.” Perhaps they have already spent quality time around, or even developed a crush on, these potential life partners.

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Compare that to the new normal status quo, which is far more awkward and damaging. Schools and media push anti-natal messages onto our kids. A random teacher shows them how to put on a condom, warns them about teen pregnancy, traumatizes them with the “Miracle of Life” birth video, and indoctrinates them about multiple genders and birthing persons. Mass media and smartphones reinforce these messages and gives them access to porn 24/7.

We must stop outsourcing this critical part of parenthood. Only a fool would let their enemy teach their children. We cannot let them influence our children’s attitude towards having children of their own. Natalism all about renormalizing healthy traditions that have been subverted.

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Let me share a few lived experiences from my community. It appears I am one of the few representatives of that community in attendance today - I am referring to the white-adjacent AAPI community. Stop Asian Hate!

This demographic has the lowest fertility rates in the world. In America, boba Asians are told to strive for good grades, colleges, and jobs. Bobas are the opposite of based rooftop Asians. They never hear pro-natal messages until they turn 30, when their parents suddenly start nagging about grandkids. My wife and I have a dozen siblings and first cousins over 30, but our daughter only has 5 others in her generation and there’s only one other couple besides us who wants to have more kids.

None of them vote the way I do or are able to vote at all, but they are my kin. The ones who had children are loving parents and it made them better people. Data shows that it’s the strongest life event that shifts people to the right.

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In Asia, the situation is even worse. The CCP enforced a brutal one-child policy from 1980 to 2015, which led to many sex-selective abortions and shot China’s rise in the foot. Demoralized young generations are turning to movements called “lie flat” in China, “shut-in” hikkimoris in Japan, or 4B - no dating, marrying, sex, or children with men - in Korea.

The parents of grown adult children flock to meet markets in parks desperate attempts to find matches with other parents in their situation. They want grandkids more than their own kids. By then, it’s too late. Biology is unforgiving. Pandas were on the brink of extinction and only have a fertility window of a few days per year, but even they are more fertile now than the humans caring for them.

As I mentioned earlier, I am the product of a consensual arranged marriage. My grandparents worked together in a chemistry lab in Beijing. They lived in the same neighborhood and felt my parents would be a good match. Sure enough, they have been happily married for over 40 years and never dated anyone else. How scandalous! Some of my aunts and uncles were paired off that way too. The progress paradox is real: fewer high quality choices lead to more wholesome outcomes than many lower quality choices.

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Let me conclude by zooming back in to our immediate surroundings and what we can control. The most important thing we can do as pro-natal parents is to model happy marriages for our kids. Make raising large families something that all children aspire to. Talk about it because it will get drowned out by all the subversion in our mass culture. Do it as often as you can without getting cringe and fomenting rebellion.

This lends itself naturally to an unconference session. See if another attendee in this room has a family with kids who might be a good match for yours. I am happy to serve as a matchmaker. Some of the people in my Substack community are already considering this option with each other. Perhaps we can do this in parallel while the singles are mingling.

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In the coming decades, I hope we will celebrate marriages and grandchildren that were sparked in this room. We will know we have succeeded if our descendants fill the Longhorns’ stadium at NatalCon 2065.

May we plant many more seeds for grassroots movement. Let’s keep the based baby boom going. The instinctual shall inherit the earth from the institutionalized.

Thank you all and God bless.