How To Subvert Neuroticism, Narcissism, and Nihilism

Why a tongue-twisting trio of N-isms are the roots of anti-Natalism and what we can do to reverse them

Comrades: Babies are downstream of culture.

The Natal Conference featured 20+ speakers and 200+ guests. We represented a broad range of opinions, occupations, and nationalities. All are patriots who love our families and are united by our passion to solve the global problem of plummeting birthrates. We want as many people as possible to experience the bliss and joy of having babies. I am glad this conference exists and hope it will grow because it is one of the biggest issues we face as a species.

One of my main takeaways from the weekend is that reactive policies are not effective. Financial incentives, housing, and parental leaves might make a dent, but aren’t enough to reverse the trend lines. People have kids because they want to have kids. They do it because they love bringing new life into our world, nurturing children, growing happy families, passing on their traditions, and glorifying the divine. Babies are miracles from God. This is a spiritual and cultural issue. It’s not rocket science, but it’s an even harder problem to solve than launching rockets into space.

---

The 3-headed hydra of Neuroticism, Narcissism, and Nihilism stand in the way of Natalism:

---

Neuroticism

We live in a neurotic age. Everyone is so worried about the little things, they forget about the big things. Parents fuss about endless minutiae related to children. Are we ready? Is this normal? Is the baby hitting the monthly milestones? How does the poop look? What kinds of toys, diapers, and lotions should we buy? Can we trust this food? Ban the peanuts, eat the peanuts. Co-sleeping is bad, co-sleeping is good. We are bombarded with an endless stream of distractions and data. Mommy blogs and junk science oversaturate anxious parents with too much information. Healthy maternal instincts are hijacked into helicopter parenting.

Neuroticism is a catch-22. The more kids parents have, the less attention they can give each individual, and that is healthy for both parents and children. Yet the day to day anxieties halt and delay fertility. 0 to 1 is hard. So is 1 to 2. As is 2 to 3 and beyond. It doesn’t get easier, but you do get better at it and it all works out fine in the end. Throughout American history, 5% of women have 5 or more kids. Mother of 8 Catherine Pakaluk’s book Hannah’s Children is full of heartwarming anecdotes about this phenomenon. Once we can reduce neuroticism, we can increase fertility rates and enjoy family life more.

---

Narcissism

Raising children is the ultimate sacrifice. Those sacrifices are difficult for narcissists to bear. Your life is no longer just about you, it is about others. You are guaranteed less sleep, less me time, and less focus on career. However, it is the best thing you will ever do. It forever changes your entire world view and priorities.

All the LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook flexing doesn’t matter. It is hard for people to imagine before having kids, but once it happens it all falls into place. Peer pressure helps. Once family and friends start having kids, it is contagious. Instead of the death spiral, we need to meme family formation into a flywheel that more people aspire to.

---

Nihilism

Nihilism and neuroticism are an odd couple. On paper, they are opposites. If nothing matters, then why fuss over all the details? Several journalists asked me why no one on the left spoke at NatalCon. I would welcome liberals to present their views on natalism, but they don’t seem to care. You can’t solve a problem unless you are willing to acknowledge it, much less address it.

The average progressive lives in dense urban areas where they rarely encounter kids. According to their world view, our country and civilization are bad. Therefore, it is not worth bringing new life into them. Extinction rebellion and birth strike stoke fearmongering to convince young people that having babies increases carbon emissions that lead to the apocalypse.

Agency is required for them to shed the nihilism and do hard things; it’s much easier to protest and shirk responsibility. The subversion runs deep to convince a large portion of population not to carry on their ancestors’ legacies. Having kids and gaining the intrinsic motivation to make the world better for them is the most beautiful story of our species. You can do this. You matter. Your children and grandchildren will do great things. It is the opposite of natalism.

---

Perhaps we need to flip the current paradigm on its head. More nihilism in the moment, but less nihilism long-term. Less neuroticism in the moment, but more neuroticism long term in the interest of making our civilization flourish. Redirect narcissism towards sacrifices for family. Two quotes by an anon and someone everyone knows illustrate the odd juxtapositions of neuroticism, narcissism, and nihilism.

“If you tell yourself it doesn't matter, like you do shows, you do this, you do that and then you have earthquakes in India where 400,000 people get killed. Honestly, it doesn't matter. That's how I handle stress."

---

TLDR: Do the opposite of this

---

My remarks at NatalCon: