How To Arrange a Marriage
A prediction and reasons why consensual arranged marriages will return to Western countries amongst pro-natal conservative families
Comrades: Consensual arranged marriages will make a comeback.
Until the 18th century, arranged marriages were the norm across cultures and continents. They remain common in countries outside of the West. However, I predict we will see a resurgence in the US and Europe that works within classic liberal societal norms. To be clear, they will not be forced arranged marriages where the bride and groom have no choice. And they will absolutely not be between blood relatives, which is prevalent in a certain religion that you are not allowed to criticize.
The consanguineous correlation:
The happy medium is consensual arranged marriage. Parents will play matchmaker and provide suggestions, but adult children are free to opt out. Traditional conservative families understand that their sons and daughters are not only marrying a spouse, but joining the spouse’s family and vice versa. They also know that marrying younger is beneficial to maturity, stability, and fertility. 25 is ideal because that is when the prefrontal cortex has fully developed, which was the average only a generation ago - now it is rare to see newlyweds under 30 in urban areas. Consensual arranged marriage subverts 4 anti-natal demoralization memes: 1) 20s are for dating and sleeping around; 2) Kids are a burden not a joy, so wait as long as possible before having them and focus on your career; 3) In-laws are annoying; 4) Multigenerational households and grandparents helping raise grandkids is weird.
Values-aligned families will socialize the idea with their teenage children as part of pro-natal “birds and the bees” conversations. “The talk” will go something along the lines of: “Starting a family is the best thing you will do in life. Prioritize finding the right spouse and having kids. It will enhance everything else you do, including careers. What do you think of [NAME] from church (who they may have already spent quality time around and potentially developed a crush on)? We know their family and believe you would get along well.” Contrast that with the current “norm” where a random teacher or TikToker introduces the concepts of condoms, abortions, and trans. The most important part is for the parents to model a happy marriage.
Many immigrant communities already practice an awkward form of consensual arranged marriage, wherein parents encourage their children to date family friends from similar cultures. That clashes with modern American culture, which is the exact opposite. China is known for marriage markets in parks where parents talk to each other to find matches, but it’s more of a reactive last chance saloon for their aging single children than proactive from a younger age. Ultimately, no one knows you better than your parents. Yet their wisdom and advice have been discarded for algorithms and alcohol.
The status quo is in such dire straits that it cannot last. Loneliness and childlessness have reached record highs, while marriage and fertility rates are at record lows. The progress paradox has presented us with infinite mating choices, which prevents settling down with the only one that matters. One-third of young people are projected to never have kids, while the DINK (Dual Income No Kids) lifestyle is propagandized as cool. I predict these trend lines will finally reverse. Time waits for no man or woman. The biological clock is ticking. What’s old is new again.
Political polarization will keep playing a role. Tolerant leftists have declared ad nauseam that they would never date, much less marry conservatives. TFR is lowest plummeted in blue states, which are also facing record population outflows. That is why the left welcome illegals into their sanctuary cities and count them in the census to avoid losing house seats. Despite the scorn, religious communities like the Mormons and Orthodox Jews never strayed from these traditions. More traditional conservative families will quietly marry younger and have more babies. A based baby boom is underway. The instinctual will inherit the earth from the institutionalized.
The Yuri comrade network may be a good place for matchmaking:
I know of an (east) Indian couple who were married in just the way described here. It makes perfect sense. I wish my own parents had been more involved and less 'laissez faire'.
BTW, my son-in-law actually asked for our daughter's hand in marriage. It was a forgone conclusion that they would become engaged, but he showed us the courtesy and consideration of asking our consent. Not surprisingly, we think the world of our son-in-law.
the happiest and most long lasting marriages i know of in my long life, were between high school sweethearts who "fell in love" in junior high, married, had kids, and stayed together until one died after 60 years together. Maybe these arranged marriages should start in 8th grade but I doubt that any parent would have chosen the very devoted Presbyterian boy for their VERY Catholoic daughter - in those days such things mattered.