the happiest and most long lasting marriages i know of in my long life, were between high school sweethearts who "fell in love" in junior high, married, had kids, and stayed together until one died after 60 years together. Maybe these arranged marriages should start in 8th grade but I doubt that any parent would have chosen the very devoted Presbyterian boy for their VERY Catholoic daughter - in those days such things mattered.
I married my high school sweetheart 20 years ago. We are best friends. My parents were high school sweethearts and have been married 55 years. They are best friends.
My high school sweetheart got back in touch mid-pandemic and proposed we go to a 5-hour BLM trance march in Seattle... lol! I declined, and received an unsolicited land acknowledgment instead. Nice. Needless to say, that did not work out! The "woke mind virus" got her (which in effect seems like an intentionally female-targeted and thus asymmetric subversion of heterosexuality ya know?) Alas, I otherwise agree with you – many such (successful) anecdotes along these lines!
I know of an (east) Indian couple who were married in just the way described here. It makes perfect sense. I wish my own parents had been more involved and less 'laissez faire'.
BTW, my son-in-law actually asked for our daughter's hand in marriage. It was a forgone conclusion that they would become engaged, but he showed us the courtesy and consideration of asking our consent. Not surprisingly, we think the world of our son-in-law.
Good son in law. A man should always ask for the blessing of a woman’s parents to marry her. I did the same for Mrs. B and get along great with my in laws.
I’m absolutely delighted that one of my nieces, who had been single for a very long time, just got engaged to a lovely young man. They seem so happy and I do believe they are a great match. We are Indian and the initial meetings were arranged by the two families. 💍
This would require a change in attitude towards commitment and the idea that you can learn to love someone, as opposed to the romantic idea of falling in love with the one
My parents met in high school and had a long and successful marriage. My husband and I went to the same high school (but never really met since he was in the smart kids classes). We were set up on a semi-blind date by his cousin and have been married now for over 30 years! People need all the help they can get!
Thanks very much for this enlightening post and graphs !!! 👍👍👍
The entirely and purposely destruction/obliteration of the traditional family-cell is quietly progressing. DINK is perfect for the IRS; means that more funds aren't invested at home for the own future anymore, but funnelled into the MIC for further destruction of alien family-cells even abroad (currently Ukraine and Gaza). What a coincidence !!!
Final goal is a society of completely brainwashed and utterly dependent singles of both sexes with the next generation being hatched by the government in artificial wombs strictly acccording to economic requirements.
Years ago I would have laughed at the whole concept of refusing to even date a person of the opposite political party. Now? There's no way I'd date a deranged liberal. They've gone so far off the deep end that we have absolutely NOTHING in common.
Personally, I have nothing to worry about as I've been married for 30 years to the man I met in the office we both worked in. :) You know - the old fashioned way.
Love this. I keep my eye open for the singles at church but I’m rarely asked. I have a friend whose parents immigrated from India, and when he turned 30 his mom asked if he would think about her friend’s daughter. They’re married now. Awesome couple.
I think men closing in on or past 30 seem to be more interested in suggestions from friends. People in their 20s seem to freak out at suggestions.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The real übermensch-move will be for millennials to arrange their own marriage, which is to say, make some committed moves (perhaps remotely)! Obviously that's kind of a joke, but only a half-joke as I do think some kind of extra-intentionality has to be exerted now that we live in unprecedentedly socially entropic and digitally distant times. My maternal grandparents got married after 48-hours (granted, during WWII) but still, it worked out – they arranged their own marriage in a sense.
"Be a mensch – do the right thing" as a Chinese coworker of mine would always say lol! I think she got arranged-married; right on! Whereas the guaranteed self-sabotage adage of "If it's meant to be, it'll work" is a resignation to eternal childhood: living within a constant potential – of course young people who say such things are single (or in some strange purgatorial partnership). Marriage, just like adulthood (and definitely related modalities) has to be acted on – it's not some passive biological process as many millennials presume (or are too afraid to confront the reality of). Let the Age of Adults commence! One can risk enthusiasm, at least.
I compared a match making CV from a mutual friend with a Tinder profile and they show the same information with the exception of family history. It’s really not that different. I also found Gen Z to be more open minded about this exact proposal than Millennials. Yet Millennials are the parents who need to help solve this problem.
Both sets of grandparents had arranged marriages. Both sets were happily married into their 90s. I know my dad's mom had veto power over the men who approached her father about marriage (in Greece the arranged marriage is between the man and the parents of the woman). She was a legendary beauty. She rejected 27 suitors before she agreed. I don't think most women in the first decade of the 1900's in Greece got veto power. My other grandmother was grateful to be married to a good Orthodox man about whom after his death she often said, "He was very good to me. He never hit me." To my eyes, they both had the kind of marriage and true love that we all want.
Good thing you included a map because when you were talking about relative marriages my first thought was about European royalty. From the other end of the economic spectrum, my Swiss ex-wife had grandmothers who were double first cousins and had exactly the same first, middle and last name. And the middle and last name were the same. When our daughter was working on genealogy, she commented that they were all hillbillies. With modernity and prosperity, that seems to have died out.
Yes! I’ve been thinking along these lines for a couple years. I feel like propinquity engineering is less obvious than explicitly suggesting a mate. Makes it more mysterious and fun when young adults do fall in love. Things may be so so bad in the future perhaps my husband and I will have to suggest people or atheist AI will. We dunno. My husband hates talking about this and just thinks it will happen at college. My gut says nah.
the happiest and most long lasting marriages i know of in my long life, were between high school sweethearts who "fell in love" in junior high, married, had kids, and stayed together until one died after 60 years together. Maybe these arranged marriages should start in 8th grade but I doubt that any parent would have chosen the very devoted Presbyterian boy for their VERY Catholoic daughter - in those days such things mattered.
So true. High school sweethearts are rare and precious now. Hope Gen Z and Gen Alpha bring wholesome back.
Still with my high-school sweetheart thirty-some-odd years later. Took me a while to marry her, but I got around to it eventually.
I married my high school sweetheart 20 years ago. We are best friends. My parents were high school sweethearts and have been married 55 years. They are best friends.
My high school sweetheart got back in touch mid-pandemic and proposed we go to a 5-hour BLM trance march in Seattle... lol! I declined, and received an unsolicited land acknowledgment instead. Nice. Needless to say, that did not work out! The "woke mind virus" got her (which in effect seems like an intentionally female-targeted and thus asymmetric subversion of heterosexuality ya know?) Alas, I otherwise agree with you – many such (successful) anecdotes along these lines!
I know of an (east) Indian couple who were married in just the way described here. It makes perfect sense. I wish my own parents had been more involved and less 'laissez faire'.
BTW, my son-in-law actually asked for our daughter's hand in marriage. It was a forgone conclusion that they would become engaged, but he showed us the courtesy and consideration of asking our consent. Not surprisingly, we think the world of our son-in-law.
Good son in law. A man should always ask for the blessing of a woman’s parents to marry her. I did the same for Mrs. B and get along great with my in laws.
I’m absolutely delighted that one of my nieces, who had been single for a very long time, just got engaged to a lovely young man. They seem so happy and I do believe they are a great match. We are Indian and the initial meetings were arranged by the two families. 💍
This would require a change in attitude towards commitment and the idea that you can learn to love someone, as opposed to the romantic idea of falling in love with the one
https://youtu.be/dDjB__eYbl4?si=otaQg-Tfk_a-AD9t
My parents met in high school and had a long and successful marriage. My husband and I went to the same high school (but never really met since he was in the smart kids classes). We were set up on a semi-blind date by his cousin and have been married now for over 30 years! People need all the help they can get!
Thanks very much for this enlightening post and graphs !!! 👍👍👍
The entirely and purposely destruction/obliteration of the traditional family-cell is quietly progressing. DINK is perfect for the IRS; means that more funds aren't invested at home for the own future anymore, but funnelled into the MIC for further destruction of alien family-cells even abroad (currently Ukraine and Gaza). What a coincidence !!!
Final goal is a society of completely brainwashed and utterly dependent singles of both sexes with the next generation being hatched by the government in artificial wombs strictly acccording to economic requirements.
Welcome to the New Normal !!!
Years ago I would have laughed at the whole concept of refusing to even date a person of the opposite political party. Now? There's no way I'd date a deranged liberal. They've gone so far off the deep end that we have absolutely NOTHING in common.
Personally, I have nothing to worry about as I've been married for 30 years to the man I met in the office we both worked in. :) You know - the old fashioned way.
Love this. I keep my eye open for the singles at church but I’m rarely asked. I have a friend whose parents immigrated from India, and when he turned 30 his mom asked if he would think about her friend’s daughter. They’re married now. Awesome couple.
I think men closing in on or past 30 seem to be more interested in suggestions from friends. People in their 20s seem to freak out at suggestions.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The real übermensch-move will be for millennials to arrange their own marriage, which is to say, make some committed moves (perhaps remotely)! Obviously that's kind of a joke, but only a half-joke as I do think some kind of extra-intentionality has to be exerted now that we live in unprecedentedly socially entropic and digitally distant times. My maternal grandparents got married after 48-hours (granted, during WWII) but still, it worked out – they arranged their own marriage in a sense.
"Be a mensch – do the right thing" as a Chinese coworker of mine would always say lol! I think she got arranged-married; right on! Whereas the guaranteed self-sabotage adage of "If it's meant to be, it'll work" is a resignation to eternal childhood: living within a constant potential – of course young people who say such things are single (or in some strange purgatorial partnership). Marriage, just like adulthood (and definitely related modalities) has to be acted on – it's not some passive biological process as many millennials presume (or are too afraid to confront the reality of). Let the Age of Adults commence! One can risk enthusiasm, at least.
I compared a match making CV from a mutual friend with a Tinder profile and they show the same information with the exception of family history. It’s really not that different. I also found Gen Z to be more open minded about this exact proposal than Millennials. Yet Millennials are the parents who need to help solve this problem.
Both sets of grandparents had arranged marriages. Both sets were happily married into their 90s. I know my dad's mom had veto power over the men who approached her father about marriage (in Greece the arranged marriage is between the man and the parents of the woman). She was a legendary beauty. She rejected 27 suitors before she agreed. I don't think most women in the first decade of the 1900's in Greece got veto power. My other grandmother was grateful to be married to a good Orthodox man about whom after his death she often said, "He was very good to me. He never hit me." To my eyes, they both had the kind of marriage and true love that we all want.
Good thing you included a map because when you were talking about relative marriages my first thought was about European royalty. From the other end of the economic spectrum, my Swiss ex-wife had grandmothers who were double first cousins and had exactly the same first, middle and last name. And the middle and last name were the same. When our daughter was working on genealogy, she commented that they were all hillbillies. With modernity and prosperity, that seems to have died out.
Graphs and statistics pack a powerful punch.
Seems like an odd fit in America but ppl can try it and see whether it works. Free country and all.
Most Christians have never stopped doing this.
Yes! I’ve been thinking along these lines for a couple years. I feel like propinquity engineering is less obvious than explicitly suggesting a mate. Makes it more mysterious and fun when young adults do fall in love. Things may be so so bad in the future perhaps my husband and I will have to suggest people or atheist AI will. We dunno. My husband hates talking about this and just thinks it will happen at college. My gut says nah.
My daughter met a great guy in college and they got married this past Sept. (they're 27). His family has very similar values to ours. It CAN happen!
That’s great. Winning when values are similar.
“The instinctual will inherit the earth from the institutionalized.” Love that! Great piece, and relates to the email I will send you soon.