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Ryan Gardner's avatar

To have children is the greatest joy in life and gives you a sense of intentional purpose and leaves a legacy for your grandchildren as a job well done.

Sacrifice for others is an intentional decision with lifelong dividends

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Brett Hyland's avatar

Amen, Ryan. There is no greater joy in life than being a parent.

And, as a passing bonus, I get to reference my namesake substack, where all children are born and nourished in the cannabinoidome, as, for starters, mother’s breast milk is chock-full of cannabinoids.

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Ryan Gardner's avatar

I guarantee the widespread use of formula in the last 50 years is def a "confounder" not accounted for in all these studies about why kids are not healthy and/or develop autism, etc.

Just another sacred cow, for profit.

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Brett Hyland's avatar

A solid surmising. It likely isn’t by accident either that cannabis is no longer part of the food chain, where livestock were once fed by it and where women bearing children once had well functioning endocannabinoid systems. To further extrapolate, perhaps it is also no accident that phytocannabinoid compounds appear to be of great help to autists.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

Nothing makes you question the meaning of life like wiping a baby's butt at 3am while also feeling spiritually fulfilled. Nihilism could never.

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PRice's avatar

Agree that babies are downstream of culture.

My son asked my daughter-in-law on their first date whether she wanted children. The biggest obstacles afterwards were the "friends" and family who tried to get her to back down from her choices.

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Mike Nahass's avatar

I agree, I’m of the notion the surest way to change a culture is to have lots of babies and raise them properly. Not only is it efficacious towards this end but you get to have a lot of fun *doing it*.

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mogabi's avatar

It's easier to raise a child than fix an adult.

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Cheryl's avatar

Nothing compares. My own four kids (young adults) want large families of their own, which makes me feel like we did something right. But how do you “re-normalize” parenthood, especially not waiting til your mid30s to start? I have no idea.

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Stephen's avatar

The narcissism one is the toughest nut to crack. I argue that progressively worsening cultural narcissism—when it’s common enough to have systemic effects—is the underlying Decline and Fall quantum mechanics for the death of civilizations.

As outrageous as this may sound, I suspect the whole Qanon thing may be the world’s first PSYCHOANALYSIS Op (v. the usual PSYOP), in that it seems to act on the collective subconscious in an arguably therapeutic way to bring repressed thoughts into the conscious (i.e., public awareness) for safe processing.

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Nathalie Martinek PhD's avatar

I'm feeling old. I miss the era when people just swallowed their existential dread and called it indigestion. Demons stayed personal, private, and suppressed, and anyone who overshared got side-eyed and shunned accordingly.

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Mitch's avatar

this is how we win! no more airing of dirty laundry.

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Stephen's avatar

Good thing you look young as a counterbalance.

My thought on the collective mind relate to difficult subjects such as how prolific child and human trafficking are, and the extent to which elites and their senior politician minions are involved in such heinous activities. We absolutely must confront these topics.

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Uncle Juan's avatar

In the groups I hang with I have to confess we only have five children… that is what God gave.

I encourage everyone in the comments here, to receive as many children that God gives you… and raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord!

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

the only healthy 'fear' (IMO more like an awe)

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James Bryson's avatar

"We live in a neurotic age.”

Painfully, "spot on” commentary.

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

being an only child I can say that yes, one of a bunch is way easier. single child is continuously under the microscope, one kid out of 8 can do almost as they please - that was how it felt when I was in school ages ago.

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Stack 1776's avatar

Parents also need to do everything they can to encourage AND help their children with their kids - this is a problem that is under the radar. Parents want to have kids, then get them out of the house as soon as they can so they can “have their life back” instead of pouring heart and soul into their kids and grandkids (and sometimes great grandkids!).

We used to live multi-generationally and now the family is splintered, which makes it harder to have larger families.

Interesting to see that in this area the Amish and other more communal type families have it right, IMHO.

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Torrance Stephens's avatar

Man, this generation is a lost cause in most respects. They do not even desire to be parents, and sadly the kids they would have are safer that way, unless their parents are conservatives.

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Jeff Walther's avatar

If one wishes to convince more folks to have children, I think it is helpful to acknowledge some of their fears and concerns rather than just telling them, "Come on in. The water is fine." The latter, to the skeptical seems cultish.

Amongst the other obstacles to child bearing in our culture is the belief that one should somehow be able to have children without changing one's lifestyle.

There is much pushing of this in the media, whether it's intentional or not. The "hip" couple has a kid and is still able to live in the stylish apartment, go out to see live music all the time, and spend time with all their friends.

This has a two prong problem. One, it contributes to folks delaying child bearing, because it takes resources to believe that you can achieve this ridiculous goal. Often the delay becomes never.

Second, reasonably intelligent and/or honest people realize this is impossible and so may choose to avoid child bearing all together.

So, first and foremost, society needs to acknowledge to youngsters that having children is a step change in your lifestyle. Your life will change. And it is a magnificent change. But also, change can be frightening. Moving out from one's parents' is also a major change, and also can be very stressful, but most everyone thinks it is a good idea to do so.

In terms of the media and TV shows mentioned above, once a character has a kid, the sitcom is usually ruined. What they never show/write is that the show changed from light meaningless sitcom to real life drama and is now a great show.

I recall talking with a physical therapist who was lamenting that she wanted to have kids but her husband kept putting it off. She just didn't understand why he delayed. I pointed out that it meant a complete change to their life style and that is frightening. She seemed completely surprised. Like that had never occurred to her.

I hope she went back to her husband and now acknowledged, yes, our lives would be completely changed, but it's a good change.

Denying the change does not deal with the fear.

So, just telling folks it's great to have kids is often insufficient. I think adding in the acknowledgement that it's a big frightening change to one's life style, but one that we're all equipped to manage and to revel in is likely to be much more effective than a simple, "Come on in, you'll like it after you've committed your whole life to it."

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AmericanTacticalCivilDefense's avatar

Children are the eternal fruit to parents of God's orchard.

The Fruit of the Orchard

In winter these trees are not dead.

Their strength lies buried,

ready to burst through when next needed,

like humans in the face of disaster

who rely on spirit to transcend

material barriers and weakness,

to make the transition

from this world,

to the spirit world,

across our artificial divide.

In spring, the earth moves below.

Nutrients flow into underground water

to be leached by root hairs

into the trunks of the apple trees

which bring them up through heartwood

to the baby-like hunger of the branches.

The sun delivers its warmth and energy

while the moon pulls the water forth.

Buds explode into flowers that bees

visit to suck sweet flowing nectar

back to their queen in the hive.

Flowers become small apples

in this season of tectonic rebirth.

In summer, the Orchard Man steps forth

more strongly. Like a general,

he summons his wife and sons

for their wise counsel,

in-gathers family and friends,

marshals tractors, machinery and tools.

Also like a general who feels the enemy's approach

long before the dust appears on the horizon

He works to prepare for the opening skirmishes

while dreading the battles that follow.

He squints at the sky and knows it is time.

He musters his people, machines and knowledge

to fight off the most ancient enemies of man:

Drought, pestilence, disease, insects, ignorance.

The Orchard Man has seen the fury of war,

in the Pacific in World War II as a marine.

He knows this will be like all the other wars,

and, therefore, fears the expected surprise:

Too much water, too little water,

Too much sun, not enough sun,

Insects and brown rot, hailstorms and lightning,

Floods and drought -- nature's arsenal is endless.

He looks at the sky again and curses the weather.

He stands alone and shakes his fist at the sky.

In fall, each row a cathedral of trees

gleams light: Light of pink flowing

through the rose windows

of the golden delicious apple trees,

bowed branch nave to the alter,

the trees yield their fruit

the way God gives us children,

by the unity of seed, spirit,

and organic material blending,

over myriad and passing seasons,

through storms that assault and cleanse

and animals that eat buds and branches

until the fall comes and the trees

form this cathedral of blinding light

and these trees are alive,

these trees want to be handled tenderly,

these trees demand careful, loving,

selfish love before it yields its fruit.

The hands that love these trees

know how to stroke each twig and branch

tenderly to yield all its fruit,

until the storage bins are heavy

and full and luscious with sweet fruit,

and the full harvest brings full measure.

In Harvest, the feast is set before

the Orchard family's spare table.

The families of apples' dance

a ballet of sweet nourishment:

apple sauce sweet rich from the goldens

and Johnnies and grannies fill the bowl.

Honey-colored apple juice is poured.

The new baby is fed diced York's.

Cinnamon and sugar explode on her tongue

And the fruits of labor, human and divine,

in that very feeding from father to daughter

and from mother to son, ensure again,

the continuance of the eternal plan.

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Weird Logic's avatar

Dallas Willard once observed that a culture of constant convenience and self-idolatry has eroded our capacity for sacrifice—an essential ingredient in the moral responsibility that sustains safe families and healthy communities. I’m increasingly convinced that this moral decline over the past few decades lies at the heart of most modern mental health struggles.

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Jason Brain's avatar

I think there are really only two cultures that keep the family band lineage alive and it's homeschooled Americans in Oregon (no longer California) and also Mexicans in Oaxaca.

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jabster's avatar

Darwin bats last.

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