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How To Sing "Poor Womxn South of Portland"
A parody of "Rich Men North of Richmond", as sung by an NPC
Comrades: “Rich Men North of Richmond” is the song of 2023. Oliver Anthony became the first artist in history to debut at #1 on the Billboard charts. Hats off to him for a masterpiece that will echo through the ages.
However, Oliver is a privileged cis white male. We need a song that represents the struggle of the intersectional oppressed LGBTQIA+ BIPOC WOMXN+ folx. That is why I have written a parody called “Poor Womxn South of Portland” from the perspective of a PMC NPC.
Sex Diary: A PMC (Professional Managerial Class) NPC (Non Player Character) scheduling sex with his partner while getting off on moral superiority
***TRIGGER WARNING: You might get offended by this song.
I’ve been sellin’ my soul, maskin’ all day
Work a few hours for $200K
So I can sit out here and preach climate change
Fly back home and pump DEI-BJ
Gore, it's a damn shame
what the world's warmed to
For people like Ze and people like you
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh, it is
Livin' in the blue world
With a trans soul
We poor womxn south of Portland
Gore knows we all just wanna have total control
Wanna know what kids think, wanna know what kids do
And we don't think you know, but we know that you do
'Cause your dollar ain't shit and it’s taxed for our friends
'Cause we’re poor womxn south of Portland
I wish politicians would look out for minors
To promote drag queens and gender affirming care
Gore, we got folks in the street, ain't got nothin' to eat
But we should give millions of migrants welfare
Karen, if you're five-foot-three and you're three-hundred pounds
Cosmo ought to pay for your cover photo as stunning and round
Ukrainian men are puttin' themselves six feet in the ground
'Cause for our Democracy’s sake they need to get mowed down
Gore, it's a damn shame what the world's warmed to
For people like Ze and people like you
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh, it is
Livin' in the blue world
With a trans soul
We poor womxn south of Portland
Gore knows we all just wanna have total control
Wanna know what kids think, wanna know what kids do
And we don't think you know, but we know that you do
'Cause your dollar ain't shit and it’s taxed for our friends
'Cause we’re poor womxn south of Portland
I’ve been sellin’ my soul, maskin’ all day
Work a few hours for $200K
How Visit Karenland FUPAZ (Part 8) - Portlandia (VIDEOS + PODCAST)
My other parodies are below. If you or someone you know is a singer who would like to perform these songs, go for it! Just put Yuri in the credits.
Karen ft. Fauci
How To Freestyle Rap
Kamala, F*** Yeah!
How To Sing "Poor Womxn South of Portland"
Here I thought irony was dead.
Oh Lord we the people are hurtin’,
But Yuri straight subversion subvertin’ can’t stop won’t stop cuz his danger rhymes is lines in the sands yall far side freaks best practice ya curtseyin’ out back with ya big freak of a boy named Sue, hells yes cash grabber Citizen Back Stabber we the people talkin to you...etc etc. (in my fave style of hip hop: the non-linear, asymmetrical somewhat blank verse)