How To Reimagine Skull and Bones

Yuri's spicy commentary on The Atlantic's expose of how Yale's most exclusive secret societies have DIEd

Comrades: Skull and Bones has DIEd.

Like Harvard and the rest of the Demoralized DIEvy League, all secret societies at Yale have been subverted The Atlantic, taking a break from its censorship campaign against Substack, published a hilarious article about how they DIEd. Today, I will provide spicy commentary on the piece. Instead of the wars, record debt and inflation, urban crimes, or border invasion, The Atlantic prioritized coverage of elite anxieties that the average person doesn’t give a shit about.

The author Rose Horowitch (she/her) is a stereotypical limousine liberal commissar. Dear Rose: Your parents must be so proud. They incinerated $500,000+ for you to spend 8 years at Yale and Philips Exeter Academy (cum laude thesis prizewinner LinkedIn Flex). In return, you regurgitate regime propaganda for The Atlantic, The Guardian, and NBC for $50K/year. Instead of documenting elite circle jerks, conduct real journalism by speaking truth to power. Otherwise please consider a more productive vocation.

One evening in 2019, in a windowless building known as the “tomb” in the center of Yale’s campus, the members of Skull and Bones snapped. There they were, having been granted membership to the most elite secret society at one of the most elite universities in the world—part of a rare group that for generations included individuals from the most powerful families on the planet. Vanderbilts, Rockefellers, and Buckleys have all been in Skull and Bones. Three Bonesmen would go on to become president of the United States. Their traditions (including oaths of secrecy upon admission) and antics (stealing the gravestone of Yale’s founder), and the rumors about them (that the Bones tomb contains several human skulls), are legendary—and an intense source of campus gossip.

All the elites are snapping….

You folx know the drill. The most spicy and revealing posts go behind a paywall. I feel a little bad for how broken these kids are, but we do need to understand their psyches because they are our future PMC NPC overlords…