How To Flex on LinkedIn (Part 2) - Cringe Employee of the Month Contest (3 POLLS)
VOTE for the worst LinkedIn flexes in 3 categories: cringiest virtue signal, money loser, and bootlicker - plus a Braveheart update on my Substack open letter and a white pill LinkedIn post at the end
Comrades: While Substack could become the best subscription network, LinkedIn has become the most cringe social network. In Part 1 of How To Flex on LinkedIn, I provided guidance red flags to watch out for and ways to make your profile shine (based on pattern recognition from viewing 10,000+ profiles). Today, dear readers, you can vote on 3 awards for the worst flexing by “elite” commissars.
*SPECIAL OFFER: If you subscribe to this Substack as a founding member, I will give you a thorough no-bullshit LinkedIn and resume editing session as well as priority access to Operation Dunkirk. No fluffy PC career coach will ever give you real talk like Yuri can. Several readers have benefitted from it. As always, your confidentiality will be fully protected.
**UPDATE ON MY OPEN LETTER TO SUBSTACK LEADERSHIP: Thank you to all 100+ comrades who have liked or re-stacked my note. Keep spreading the message. I have faith that the Substack team is leading with principles, but every restack helps. It warms my heart to see freedom loving writers rally together. I never post anything on social media under my real name, but will aggressively promote this call to pens under my pseudonym:
I walk around with a smirk on my face knowing that every minute, more comrades are learning about Yuri Bezmenov’s warnings and the forces of demoralization we must push back against. Yuri running around shitposting on Substack Notes over the past 48 hours: “I heard Yuri Bezmenov is a BIPOC - no he’s an AAPI… I heard he went to Harvard - no he went to Stanford… he once met HRC and lived to tell the tale… Sons of Substack, I am Yuri Bezmenov - Yuri Bezmenov is 7 feet tall - Yes, I’ve heard. Red pills men by the hundreds. And if he were here, he’d consume the Commies with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse…”
I would be grateful if you helped ramp up this Substack Notes bump from a Scottish munro to Mount Everest (already up 10x from this date last year):
***REMINDER on this samizdat’s privacy policy: I take privacy seriously. I will protect the privacy and anonymity of my readers, myself, and any private citizens I write about. I will never fabricate, exaggerate, or dox. However, public figures are fair game. To the ~20 comrades who know me IRL: I trust you won’t pull a Robert the Bruce and turn me over to Longshanks.
LinkedIn is a public social network owned by Microsoft that members use to not-so-humble brag. Even though I don’t have to, today I will block the names in the team virtue signal category to spare their blushes. I’d be willing to bet all my rubles that all 9 commissars featured below would score over 100 on my ESG quiz and bow down to the Swedish Gollum Greta:
Now onto the awards show and 3 polls (will release the results next week)…
Cringiest Team Virtue Signal:
Husband showing off his wife and wedding in Vogue while name dropping Google and Stanford:
Father bragging about his son’s chess prowess. Only in Silicon Valley does a high school student have a LinkedIn profile and pronouns:
Partner showing off her partner while grooming rainbow commissars, sponsored by Goldman Sachs:
Cringiest Money Loser
Michelle Bailhe of Sequoia has still not been fired despite losing $214 million on FTX - cuz DEI/ESG:
SVB DEI commissar Angela Lovelace virtue signaled at NASDAQ days before her bank imploded:
Alissa Gordon Heinerscheid destroyed Budweiser by making trans activist Dylan Mulvaney the face of the brand. WEF Wehrmacht corporation InBev Anheuser-Busch has lost $5 billion in market cap since her demoralized ad campaign. She has deleted her LinkedIn profile, but I snagged it below. Like Michelle Bailhe, she will probably not get fired cuz DEI/ESG:
Every commissar’s wet dream is to be featured in The New Yorker:
Her podcast was embarrassing: https://twitter.com/claytravis/status/1645207120118263810?s=46&t=0c1FiWOiWcyAWfYmoA0XE
Cringiest Bootlicking Court Eunuch:
The Biden regime is grooming court eunuch red guards to shill for him on social media. White Harry Sisson promotes BLM x pronouns, grew up in one of the wealthiest NYC suburbs, and attended two of the most expensive private colleges in the country:
Boba Victor Shi is a Twitter word salad copy pasta chef who won’t look directly at us peasants, shows us the back of his head as he testifies in front of a kangaroo court, and writes about himself in the third person:
NYC Public Health Commissioner Ashwin Vasan served as a case study for most red flags on LinkedIn:
No contest on this final category, but never forget that the regime will memory hole pronoun murderers because it doesn’t fit the narrative:
Nashville:
Louisville:
Washington state Democrats have passed a law that allows the state to size kids if you don’t affirm their gender. This is the groomer bugman who sponsored it:
An alternative title for this Substack is the memory hole and meme news network:
Loren Merchan gets paid by Democrats for digital marketing campaigns while her father presides over Trump’s kangaroo court case:
Boba Rep Ted Lieu made my resistance meme into reality. Just a reminder that he used campaign funds to bribe Stanford into admitting his son.
Ted is not aware that he is the one being mocked for his attempt at subversion:
White pill: This is the most based LinkedIn post I’ve ever seen - take a bow, Iyinoluwa:
Thanks for your breakdown of LinkedIn. I've had a LinkedIn account for professional purposes since its inception. However, it became obvious over the last decade that its mission aggressively changed from being a simple professional networking site to something much more sinister. The flexes that you highlighted demonstrate the ideological path that LinkedIn has taken.
LinkedIn was particularly odious during the peak of Corona and BLM madness. Companies using LinkedIn as a chance to flaunt vaccine compliance and advertise their support for BLM. Employees advertising how many shots they received in their newsfeed with the classic "thumbs up" selfie as they received their shot.
I'd like to know what sort of purification rituals you undergo after preparing each post? This stuff is extraordinarily toxic and melts flesh off bones with repeated exposure. And yet you remain healthy enough to do it over and over for our benefit!