How To Get Into Harvard (Part 3) - DIEvy League Demoralization March Madness
The first annual DIEvy League Demoralization March Madness tournament: Harvard, Columbia, Stanford, UPenn, and Duke boost their seedings in the Yuri "elite" university rankings
Comrades: Welcome to Demoralization March Madness! Just as RISD became RISDIE, the Ivy League has become the DIEvy League. Part 1 of How To Get into Harvard established the initial rankings and methodology, while Part 2 provided a fall semester update. The latest rankings are at the bottom along with my March Madness style bracket. WOO SPORTSBALL! Awesome, baby!
If you subscribe as a founding member, I will provide a college counseling or LinkedIn editing session to help escape the Asch conformity experiment we’re all living in:
Top seed Harvard is the heavy favorite after accelerating demoralization on all fronts. It solved racism and inclusion by appointing a Black Anti-Racist Female (BARF) commissar Claudine Gay as its next president. Her previous qualifications include leading a committee to lynch fellow Black professor Roland Fryer for conducting wrongthink research. I have to hand it to the Harvard presidential selection committee. The overachievers couldn’t have picked a more perfect BARF:
Like many of Gay’s stunning and brave intersectional sisters, she is a rebel in the streets but colonized in the sheets:
As I predicted in Part 2, which was published just 6 months ago:
Half of the Ivy League now has female presidents (Brown, Cornell, Dartmouth, Penn). Harvard and Columbia are actively searching for new presidents, who will most likely tick an intersectionality box (EDITOR’S NOTE: both have since appointed female presidents, leaving Princeton and Yale as the last holdouts). I have no problem with female or diverse leaders, but in these cases they are all intersectionality shields from criticism of conformity and corporatism. Given the acceleration of Idiocracy and the 2 commissar rules, by 2030 all Ivy League universities will have black trans presidents.
Politico celebrated the diversity milestone of 6 out of 8 Ivy League presidents possessing the right genitalia, which technically means they are now overrepresented. Heather Macdonald wrote a rebuke of the Karentocracy. Diversity of thought is an afterthought, as Harvard has reached a 1:1 administrator to undergrad ratio to enforce groupthink:
Harvard is one of the few universities still mandating the bivalent booster for students but not staff. Fellow Maskachussetts schools Tufts and Wellesley are also mandating this jab that has only been tested in 8 mice. Tufts is known as the Ivy reject school, so its inferiority complex is manifesting by one-upping on injections - they even mandated the flu shot. Wellesley is an all-girls school that worships My Body My Choice, but not when it comes to COVID injections. Its students recently voted to include trans and non-binary applicants, which means it will no longer be an all-girls school. Get your popcorn ready for when they blame campus rapes on toxic masculinity and faraway frat bros, not the biological men they voted to allow into their bathrooms and dorms. No College Mandates is tracking all the absurdity here.
Kim Kardashian guest lectured at HBS, which is hilarious because she is a billionaire mogul who never attended college. Instead, she became famous from a sex tape and built a business empire from her social media and reality TV platforms. HBS students would never pursue that path and are trained to be minions for magnates like her. At the Harvard Kennedy School, CNN soy bugman Brian Stelter is guest lecturing about misinformation and former NYC Mayor Bolshevik Bill de Blasio is guest lecturing about crisis management. The biggest suckers in all of this are hordes of status conscious karents, who pay $300,000 for their kids’ indoctrination and the bragging rights that their seed was chosen in the <5% acceptance rate.
#2 Yale is forever chasing Harvard through cringe mimicry. Their law students appear to hold Kendi in higher regard than the Constitution. Coming soon to a kangaroo court near you:
#3 Columbia has boldly announced it will be the first Ivy to drop the standardized testing requirement forever and has withdrawn from official ranking lists. They don’t want to show data showing that they will continue sacrificing meritocracy for DIE, even after affirmative action ends. Democracy dies in the darkness!
The end result is that Ivy League degrees attained after 2020 will be worthless. Instead of assuming an Ivy Leaguer is smart unless proven otherwise, the opposite will occur. Smart employers will recruit Asian and white males from lower tier schools. Patients will prefer Asian and white doctors if they are under a certain age.
North Korean defector Yeonmi Park attended Columbia and wrote a book about how its woke tyranny reminded her of the country she escaped. Kim Jong Un and Yale would be proud of cringey propaganda videos like this one:
#4 Brown continues to enthusiastically follow the science - such a bright future of conformity ahead of them:
#5 Stanford has opened a new Sustainability School and an Institute on Race. They will hire many commissars to enforce the harmful language guide. A lovely full circle tale: VC John Doerr funded the sustainability school with his fortune from Sequoia, which lost $214M on FTX and SBF, whose parents were Stanford Law School professors. Stanford President Marc Tessier-Lavigne is under investigation for alleged research misconduct that multiple papers he co-authored contain altered images. He also made over $1 million during his 4 years as a board member of Pfizer from 2012-15, then mandated the jabs in 2021. He’ll be replaced by a BARF intersectional commissar soon. A friend who grew up in Palo Alto says that the street where the president, SBF family, and Elizabeth Holmes family live is now referred to as “Fraud Row”.
Every top college basketball team has a spirited student section like the Cameron Crazies of Duke, who yell and cheer in support. Top demoralized schools also have spirited student mobs who shout down speakers to support their Current Thing. In yet another shameful act of mob rule, the Stanford Law student mob shut down an event featuring conservative Judge Kyle Duncan. DEI commissar Tirien Steinbach led them - this was her LinkedIn profile before she deleted it:
Full details on the incident below. As of this writing, the fallout is still ongoing. Students have protested and harassed the Dean of the Law School for daring to apologize to the judge for their tantrum:
Despite a legion of commissars dedicated to “inclusion”, Stanford has one of the highest student suicide rates in the nation. Comrade Max Meyer has kept full accounting of the rot over the past few years:
UPenn is the biggest mover in this edition, shooting up the rankings from #10 to #6. I previously wrote that Wharton would prevent Penn from becoming fully demoralized because it is a capitalist business school. I was wrong; Wharton has succumbed to The Current Thing by launching majors in DEI and ESG. Whartonites can learn how to be shrieking racist Gretas. Anyone choosing these new majors is unhireable in my book.
Physiognomy check - a soy bugman sponsored by Deloitte got held hostage by 3 Karens and a BARF Dean:
Deputy Dean Nancy Rothbard: “We are proud and delighted that Wharton will be offering these new concentrations and majors, supported by the School’s world-class evidence-based curriculum. We look forward to seeing what our graduates accomplish.”
The irony of calling ESG and DEI evidence-based!
Vice Dean of Entrepreneurship Lori Rosenkopf: “While the Management department has offered relevant coursework in this area for some time, we were delighted to create this new major for MBA students and new concentration for undergraduate students. Thus, the DEI concentration/major will be administered by the management department, and will explore issues such as equality and discrimination from an organizational content.”
Recursive NPC: Exploring discrimination while creating a major that is focused on adding discrimination to everything.
Penn is also home to the Biden Center for Geopolitics, which was a money laundering and bribery operation for the CCP to pay off Joe and his crime family. For her role in the grift, Penn’s former president Amy Gutmann was appointed Ambassador to Germany. The FBI raided Uncle Joe’s office at Penn and will find nothing, just like Hunter’s laptop. 10% for the big guy!
#9 Dartmouth’ incoming diverse President Sian Beilock uses it’s instead of its and has the handwriting of a toddler:
Southern schools are not immune to the mind virus. #8 Duke moves up to #7 thanks to Dr. Dan Chang, who refused a kidney transplant to a teenage girl because she didn’t get the jab. #15 Vanderbilt jumps up to #12 after its hospital administrators bragged about how much money they were making from trans surgeries.
The play-in game for the last seed in the tournament also deserves a moment of silence. Basketball powerhouses UVA and Michigan State both suffered mass shootings this school year. Tragically and predictably, the stories went straight down the memory hole because they didn’t fit The Narrative. Both campuses are gun-free zones. At UVA the shooter was a student athlete who attacked his teammates. At MSU the shooter was charged with carrying a concealed weapon several years before – a felony count that would have prevented him from being able to buy a gun if he were convicted. A deal allowed him to plead guilty to a misdemeanor in 2019, so he only spent a year on probation and was free to buy guns again. UVA has the slight edge on demoralization here.
Here is the card and bracket for the Sweet Subverted 16 - Harvard wins with plenty of upsets along the way:
Harvard
Yale
Columbia
Brown
Stanford
Penn (+4)
Johns Hopkins
Duke (+1)
Dartmouth
Princeton
Northwestern
Vanderbilt (+3)
UChicago
MIT
CalTech
Play-In game: Virginia def. Michigan State
Claudine Gay cutting down the net like she cut down Roland Fryer:
Funny and creative post. I’m still chuckling at the BARF acronym and can’t believe how good Kim Kardashian looks with modest clothing on. As always, thanks for bringing these insane things to public attention.
I heard Columbia’s world famous Mattress Girl, with her mattress in tow, sang the North Korean National Anthem before the finals game against Harvard. Unfortunately, not even this was enough to stop the juggernaut that is Harvard - a DIEnasty for years to come.