How To Win the Miss Information Pageant
Crowning the stunning and brave contestants of the Miss Information Pageant, sponsored by Pfizer and the 3-letter agencies
Comrades: Welcome to the Miss Information Pageant!
We have an “elite” field of a dozen demoralized commissar contestants who hope to be crowned Miss Information. They have been spinning and bootlicking hard for years to control the narrative, labeling anything they don’t like as “misinformation”. Their incomes depend on forcing you to accept that the naked emperor has clothes. Since we are progressive and don’t want to hurl, we will only have a word salad copypasta interview stage and clown mask stage - no swimsuit contest. The winner will receive a trip to DIEsney World, Hunter Biden’s laptop, a lifetime supply of COVID boosters and masks, and life-saving gender-affirming care for their kids. Thank you to the sponsors of this year’s Miss Information: CIA, FBI, DOJ, CDC, NIH, Pfizer, and our AWFL.PMC.NPC.DEI viewers.
“If trying to save people’s lives is a crime, then I’m guilty.”
Who will win the crown? Our judges panel today are distinguished misinformation “experts”: Joe Biden, Tony Fauci, and The View. They are not biased and don’t share the exact same views as all the contestants. The Supreme Court has granted unelected bureaucrats the ability to pressure social media platforms to censor anything the contestants deem to be misinformation. This is what Democracy looks like!
Representing MSNBC, Miss Information Rachel Maddow:
Representing the White House, Miss Information Karine Jean-Pierre:
Representing MSNBC and formerly The White House, Miss Information Jen Psaki:
Representing NPR, Wikipedia, and the CIA, Miss Information Katherine Maher:
How To Appoint a Commissar (Part 4) - NPR CEO Katherine Maher (she/her)
Comrades: The Soviets had Pravda, we have NPR. Rejoice, peasants! Taxpayer-funded regime propaganda network NPR has appointed a new CEO. Katherine Maher (she/her) is one of the cringiest commissars I have ever seen. As I have done with similar unelected demoralization agents at
Representing MSNBC, Miss Information Joy Reid:
Representing Stanford and the CIA, Miss Information Renee DiResta:
How To Skewer Invisible Rulers
Comrades: Stanford Internet Observatory “misinformation expert” Renee DiResta is the invisible ruler she warns about. On June 11, she released her book called “Invisible Rulers: The People who turn Lies into Reality” - a masterpiece in demoralized projection. Allow me to save you $30 and hours of reading her revolting Orwellian double-speak. I will trans…
***Amazon has removed all of the negative reviews from her book “Invisible Rulers” which has boosted the rating from 3.3 stars to 4.7 stars.
Representing MSNBC, Miss Information Mika Brzezinski:
Representing the Ministry of Truth and American Sunlight Project, Miss Information Nina Jankowicz:
How To Appoint a Commissar (Part 6) - Ministry of Truth Czar Nina Jankowicz
Comrades: Welcome to Two Minutes Hate with Commissar Scary Poppins, Czar of the Ministry of Truth! Like new NPR Katherine Maher (she/her), Nina Jankowicz is a demoralization agent in our theater kid occupied longhouse gulag government. In 2022, she gained notoriety as the first and last Director of the short-lived Disinformation Governance Board within t…
Representing Twitter, Miss Information Vijaya Gadde:
Representing CNN and Planned Parenthood, Miss Information Leanna Wen:
Representing the CDC and WHO as “Independent” Substacker, Miss Information Katelyn Jetelina:
Representing The Washington Post, Miss Information Taylor Lorenz:
And our lovely winner… drumroll please… representing the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps… Miss Information Admiral Rachel “Dick” Levine (she/her)!
It is misinformation and hate speech to call Rachel a man. She is a stunning and brave trans woman, just like Miss Maryland and Miss Derry New Hampshire! There is also no such thing as a woman, only bleeders and birthing persons. Dick wins Miss Information because he was part of the domino effect of Elon buying Twitter. First, Elon’s son got groomed by a posh LA private school and became trans. Then Babylon Bee got banned for awarding Levine woman of the year. All of that resulted in Elon purchasing a crime scene, exposing it to the world, and pushing free speech to the maximum on the town square.
Miss South Carolina 2007 would make a better President than Biden and a better commentator than all of today’s contestants:
The Soviets had a state run media. We have a media run state. In Soviet America, MSM is Pravda, DOJ/FBI is Stasi, and DHS/CIA is KGB:
Reminder to eat more meat and meatpost every time a Greta style tyrant tells you not to:
Winner of most misogynist post of the year!
I kid. I regret all my prior beliefs about the importance of women having positions of power just because. These are examples of women who assimilate the same narcissistic attributes as anyone else as their status rises, and are no less destructive. Trust in women leadership is declining at lightening speed.
Well I don't know who should win but I will give Scary Poppins the best nickname in the last 10 years.
On balance, I take Benny Hill more serious than any of these people.
When they start talking you might as well replace their commentary with 'Yakety Sax'.