How To Win The Pulitzer Prize

Subverting the subversion of The Pulitzer Prize's committee of propaganda commissars and last year's winners

Comrades: The Pulitzer Prize should be renamed The Propagandist Prize.

Institutions are comprised of people. When meritocracy is sacrificed for woke diversity, an institution rots from within. All we need to do is look at the Pulitzer board to understand why it has faded to farcical irrelevance. The selection committee is commissars all the way down. That explains why they have awarded only lefty social justice reporting for decades and why I’m sure they will give one to a Trump Derangement Substacker soon. MSM “journalists” disgrace their profession because they are trying to impress this group of cringey, out of touch Marxists that would make Pravda’s publishers blush. They will predictably vote blue no matter who.

How many of them have taken USAID funds?

The gold medal is masking garbage. We need to fund our own Pulitzer Prize in the counter-cultural revolution. Like many institutionalized prestige markers, it used to denote excellence but is now a marker of corruption. The Soviets had a state run media, we have a media run state. It’s the equivalent of a North Korean military awards ceremony. You must be an AWFL or BIPOC who has worked at NYT, WaPo, or NPR to be considered for this committee. Sunlight is the best disinfectant. Time for some spicy commentary on these demoralization agents.

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Elizabeth Alexander: President, Andrew W. Mellon Foundation

Elizabeth is a real commissar’s commissar. Her job is to steal a dead white man’s money and give it to her fellow commissars. She has the longest bio - the rule of thumb is that the longer the bio, the more full of BS someone is. Like the NPR CEO, her life appears to be a game of striver credential collecting and cringe virtue signaling.

Try to finish this sentence without your eyes rolling into the back of your head: “Over the course of a distinguished academic and artistic career, she has developed a number of complex, multi-arts and multi-disciplinary teams, departments and partnerships, and dedicated herself consistently to creating, building and sustaining highly successful institutions – from the Poetry Center at Smith College, to a major rebuilding of the African American Studies department at Yale University, from the poetry non-profit Cave Canem, to the Ford Foundation’s programs in journalism, arts and culture.”

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Anne Applebaum: Author and Staff Writer, The Atlantic

The most hysterical commentator of the most hysterical rag. She previously served as a propagandist as The Washington Post and The Economist. As a senior fellow at the SNF Agora Institute at Johns Hopkins University, she co-leads ARENA, a research project on disinformation and 21st century propaganda. Clearly she does not own a mirror. She has degrees from red guard finishing schools Yale, Georgetown, and Oxford.

Everything Anne doesn’t like is anti-science autocracy:

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Nancy Barnes, Editor, The Boston Globe

Another poster girl of Maskachussetts Karentocracy like Heather Cox Richardson, Elizabeth Warren, and Maura Healey. Nancy was the SVP of News and Editorial Director of NPR from 2018-2022. Before that, she ran the newsrooms at the Houston Chronicle and the Minneapolis Star Tribune. Her mind virus combines every geographical strain of deep blue idiocy.

How To Reimagine Boston from The Departed to The (Woke) Retarded

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Neil Brown, President, Poynter Institute for Media Studies

Appears to be the only straight white male red state resident on the entire panel. The Poynter Institute operates PolitiFact, a biased fact-checking operation. It has also received funding from Voice of America. Previous winners of the Poynter Medal for Lifetime Achievement in Journalism include regime propagandists Anderson Cooper, Lesley Stahl, and Chris Wallace. An elephant walk side show from the Pulitzer circle jerk.

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Nicole Carroll, Executive Director, Local Journalism Initiative and Professor of Practice, Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication, Arizona State University

Her title is a mouthful. Former editor in chief at USA Today, which no one reads anymore. She was also the editor of The Arizona Republic for 20 years, where she led a project on the proposed U. border wall that won a 2018 Pulitzer Prize.

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Sewell Chan, Editor in Chief, The Texas Tribune

The ultimate boba Asian resume: Harvard, Oxford, Columbia Journalism Review, Washington Post, New York Times, LA Times. He’s as Texan as a polar bear.

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Jelani Cobb, Dean, Graduate School of Journalism and Henry R. Luce Professor of Journalism, Columbia University

The DEI Dean has cashed in with sinecures from Columbia, The New Yorker, PBS, MSNBC, Ford Foundation, Fulbright, Harvard, American Academy of Arts & Sciences, and New York Public Library. I shudder to think how much taxpayer funding he has hoovered up.

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Gabriel Escobar, Editor and Senior Vice President, The Philadelphia Inquirer

16 years at The Washington Post. Born in Bogota. Any relation to Pablo? A cartel kingpin has more principles than your average Pulitzer committee member.

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Carlos Lozada, Opinion Columnist, The New York Times

17 years at the Washington Post. 2 Ivy League degrees from Princeton and Columbia. Previously served as the managing editor of Foreign Policy magazine. The only committee member who has done something other than journalism, but they weren’t real jobs and sound like CIA cut-outs: consultant at the Inter-American Development Bank, analyst in the research department at the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta.

He claims to live by the NYT’s journalistic ethics: “I strive for fairness, honesty and depth. I believe that there is something called truth, and I do my best to approximate it. My overriding value is skepticism. Along with all Times journalists, I am committed to upholding the standards of integrity outlined in our Ethical Journalism Handbook.”

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Kelly Lytle Hernández, Professor of History, African American Studies & Urban Planning and Thomas E. Lifka Chair of History, University of California, Los Angeles

Anyone who teaches Grievance Studies in California is left of Mao. She claims to be one of the nation’s leading experts on race, immigration, and mass incarceration. Like Ibram X Kendi, she won a $1 million no strings attached MacArthur “Genius” Fellowship.

How To Build a Patronage Network

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Kevin Merida, Former Executive Editor, Los Angeles Times

This is the guy who raised a stink about quitting the LA Times because it wasn’t far left enough. He is proud to have pushed for greater diversity throughout the newsroom and made key promotions and hires to its leadership as part of that mission. Before that, he spent 22 years at The Washington Post.

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Marjorie Miller, Administrator, The Pulitzer Prizes, Columbia University

Not sure what an administrator does except oversee the patronage between one corrupt institution and another. Appointed by the President of Columbia University. Previously vice president and global enterprise editor at The Associated Press. Looks the part.

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Viet Thanh Nguyen, University Professor, Aerol Arnold Chair of English and Professor of English, American Studies and Ethnicity and Comparative Literature, University of Southern California

Yet another grievance studies professor from California, but AAPI instead of BIPOC. How diverse! He has racked up the residencies, fellowships, and grants: Luce Foundation, the Mellon Foundation, the Asian Cultural Council, the James Irvine Foundation, the Huntington Library, the Djerassi Resident Artists Program, the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, Creative Capital, the Warhol Foundation, Guggenheim, and MacArthur. Has anyone read any of his stunning and brave books that are somehow deserving of this never ending gravy train and adulation? Rhetorical question.

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Emily Ramshaw, Co-Founder and CEO, The 19th

This stunning and brave girlboss is the youngest member of the committee. In case you’re wondering in suspense, yes, The 19th “aims to elevate the voices of women, women of color and the LGBTQ+ community in American media”. And of course she has pronouns in her bio. But she won’t be able to tell you what a woman is.

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David Remnick, Editor and Staff Writer, The New Yorker

Editor of The New Yorker since 1988. In 2016, The New Yorker became the first magazine to receive a Pulitzer Prize for its writing, and now has won six Pulitzers, including the gold medal for public service. Yet the cartoon profile pics never seem to be accurate…

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Minouche Shafik, President, Columbia University

Minouche resigned in disgrace after letting Hamas protestors take over campus. The ultimate empty suit. More details in this piece:

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Tommie Shelby, Caldwell Titcomb Professor of African and African American Studies and of Philosophy, Harvard University

So much glorious diversity! Just not diversity of thought. I nominate Tommie Shelby from Peaky Blinders. He has far more street smarts and wisdom on what’s going on in the world than the rest of the committee combined.

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Ginger Thompson, Chief of Correspondents and Deputy Managing Editor, ProPublica

15 years at The New York Times. She was part of a team of national reporters at The Times that was awarded a 2000 Pulitzer Prize for the series “How Race is Lived in America.” It’s all so predictable and tiresome.

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It is any surprise that this committee chose the following stunning and brave winners for last year’s prize? If you break a real story like Biden’s senility, massive USAID fraud, or child castration, sorry anon. The Pulitzer Prize is not for you.

Investigative Reporting: Hannah Dreier of The New York Times

For a deeply reported series of stories revealing the stunning reach of migrant child labor across the United States—and the corporate and governmental failures that perpetuate it.

Explanatory Reporting: Sarah Stillman of The New Yorker

For a searing indictment of our legal system’s reliance on the felony murder charge and its disparate consequences, often devastating for communities of color.

Local Reporting: Sarah Conway of City Bureau and Trina Reynolds-Tyler of the Invisible Institute

For their investigative series on missing Black girls and women in Chicago that revealed how systemic racism and police department neglect contributed to the crisis.

National Reporting: Staff of Reuters

For an eye-opening series of accountability stories focused on Elon Musk’s automobile and aerospace businesses, stories that displayed remarkable breadth and depth and provoked official probes of his companies’ practices in Europe and the United States.

Public Service: Staff of The Washington Post

For its sobering examination of the AR-15 semi-automatic rifle, which forced readers to reckon with the horrors wrought by the weapon often used for mass shootings in America.

Feature Photography: Photography Staff of Associated Press

For poignant photographs chronicling unprecedented masses of migrants and their arduous journey north from Colombia to the border of the United States.

Audio Reporting: Staffs of the Invisible Institute and USG Audio

For a powerful series that revisits a Chicago hate crime from the 1990s, a fluid amalgam of memoir, community history and journalism.

Will Beto win next year?

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Daniel Penny,

Marc Andreessen

, and a16z deserve medals: