How To Write a Thesis
Why Memes/Substack are 10000x more powerful than a non-STEM PhD thesis, the grievance studies to DIE commissar pipeline, and results from the How To Flex on LinkedIn cringe contest at the end
Comrades: A thesis takes years to write and is read by a handful of people. A meme takes minutes to make and can be seen by billions. A Substack post takes a few hours to write and can be read by millions.
Memes contain funny truths that hundreds of pages of lies cannot change. That is why the commissar class hates memes. They will pearl clutch and say AKSHUALLY til the cows come home; failing that they will call the manager to censor and arrest them. The Biden regime has already sentenced memesmith Douglas Mackey to prison.
A few years ago, I attended a relative’s graduation at a demoralized DIEvy League “elite” university. I kept the ceremony booklet, which listed the titles of every PhD thesis. Below are snapshots of the most cringe theses and the grievance study to DEI commissar pipeline.
The grievance study PhD to DEI commissar pipeline:
The Longhouse on Earth is pushing one man to seek Mars:
Flip to the end of the alphabet to find the serious work done by the white-adjacents, who are being restricted from the ivory tower by affirmative action and standardized test-optional policies:
Here is my graduation speech from last year:
I have read a few theses. The STEM ones are brilliant, but impossible to understand if you have an IQ within the normal age. The non-STEM ones are impossible to understand because they are full of word salad. Have you ever read any world-changing theses?
We saw yuge voter turnout for the How To Flex on LinkedIn cringe employee of the month contest. The water main broke at 3AM, then the Dominion machines went down, then it took a few more days to count all the harvested ballots and mail-in vote dumps. I am pleased to share the results of this fortified election. One of the winners has been placed on a leave of absence since the original post.
Winner of Cringiest Team Virtue Signal: Partner grooming with partner at Goldman Sachs
Winner of Cringiest Money Loser: Alissa Gordon Heinerscheid of Bud Light
***White Pill Update: She was put on leave. Third place finisher Michelle Bailhe still has not been fired for $214 million on FTX. In an effort to rebrand, she is now using her married name Michelle Fradin.
Winner of Cringiest Bootlicking Court Eunuch: Victor Shi
LinkedIn now has a diversity screen. Does it include white-adjacent AAPIs?
Perhaps the Pat Tillman foundation will use this screen to fulfill its equity statement:
I have a (seriously) worthy PhD thesis for you, albeit from the early 90s:
My dear friend Craig Chin was an MD and PhD in Political Science at NYU who tragically died of AIDS in 1993 at the age of 32. His PhD thesis shows how the Randy Schilts and his praise of ACT-UP in the book “And the Band Played On” distorted and in places fabricated how the US Government responded to the emergence of AIDS--a mysterious, terrifying disease in its early years.
Craig’s thesis demonstrates that the Reagan Administration responded to respectability politics and appeals to decency and our common humanity and provided funding and institutional resources at scale and as soon as possible.
To the extent this is acknowledged at all by activists, ACT-UP is given the credit. In fact, Reagan responded with common sense and humanity. He and his wife Nancy were actors with many gay friends, and there wasn't a prejudiced bone in his body.
By the way, Randy Schilts' account is also the basis for the hugely successful Broadway play and HBO feature “Angels in America", so the money till kept merrily ringing away, and the opportunities for moral outrage and self-promotion kept spinning along for decades.
Sadly, nobody’s ever heard of Craig’s thesis--the truth doesn’t always generate opportunities for huge fund-raising and demonstrations of self-promoting moral outrage.
I have a PDF of Craig’s thesis and would be glad to send it to anyone interested in reading it.
Requiescat in Pace, dear Craig.
Academia and credentialism are a joke and always have been. I used to work with someone who occasionally dropped her Ph.D. status into casual conversation. A colleague managed to get a copy of her thesis, maybe even from her, which turned out to be the type of indecipherable verbal onanism that we have come to equate with other esteemed "doctors" of the soft arts such as the First Lady and the array of gender studies and sociology majors that you have highlighted.