How To Virtue Signal with a Yard Sign

Spicy subversive translations of this election season's hottest Vote Kamala signs

Comrades: The 2024 Election season is featuring the most demoralized yard signs in herstory. If you see the best-selling Harris-Walz official signs featured below in your neighbors’ yards, I have translated their inner monologues and moral preening for you. It would be fun to use memes as lawn signs, or even cycle through multiple memes on an electronic screen. As the DNC’s memesmith, I encourage you to check out the subversive Memes section for compilations of what can be unburdened by what has been, White Dudes for Harris, and Springfield Ohio.

Put on your “They Live” glasses and let’s go for a stroll around the PMC NPC neighborhood - For Democracy! Feel free to comment on any cringey lawn signs you’ve seen.

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I am so virtuous that I am above politics, even though it’s clear as day I’m voting blue. All you have to do is stand against hate and ban all hate speech to be a good person. It’s that easy! I am so tolerant and love diversity so much that I live far away from anyone who speaks the languages featured in this sign. If hateful people wearing a MAGA hat come near my home, I will yell at the fascists and call the cops that I voted to defund. That is how you stop hate!

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I am obviously brainwashed beyond comprehension. This election is such an obvious choice. I know because The New York Times, Washington Post, and CNN endorsed Kamala since she was obviously a great VP and Trump is obviously, literally Hitler. They are obviously real, unbiased journalists and not conspiracy theorists spreading misinformation. I vote blue no matter who because Democrats are always obviously better. Anyone who doesn’t consoom MSM like me is obviously oblivious, so I don’t talk to them. Why can’t you see how obvious this all is, bigot? Obviously I am intellectually and morally superior to you, but this is my passive aggressive way of saying it. It’s obvious birth control, SSRIs, and seed oils are driving me insane. I will keep repeating NPC slogans because they’re so OBVIOUS! OBVIOUS! OBVIOUS!

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Unity is when everyone focuses on immutable traits like race and gender. We are just a bunch of clip art with different colors residing in an economic zone. Peace, love, and rainbows for my fellow lefties. Nothing but contempt for people who don’t fall into these categories. Go back to MAGAland, Trumpet!

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We must keep marching forward to utopia! Not going back to 2016-2020, when everything was much cheaper and peaceful. I can’t handle the mean tweets. We must keep making progress with inflation, open borders, and escalation towards World War III. Then we can start over at Year Zero.

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In the people’s republic, we must be for the people. By people I mean only the 50% who support the people’s party. If you are not for the people’s party, then you are not for the people and not human so you must be sent to the gulag.

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I have no clue that America is a Constitutional Republic. I also have no idea what Democracy means, but it sounds wonderful - just like joyful brat coconut Harris and folksy aw-shucks Walz. Slay, kween!

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I want to brag to the world how miserable I am. Proud to be the HOA and School Board president. I secretly regret my abortions, but now the government is my husband/daddy and the cat is my child. Kitty will feast upon my corpse after I die alone. My life will be bitter, but my flesh sweet.

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The country is over. The Party rules all. Who needs the First Amendment or the Constitution? Warmongers and womb killers unite. Where’s my participation sticker to show off how much Democracy I did?

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The contrast between all of these lawn signs and MAGA is striking. Make America Great Again is a simple motto that evokes an inspiring country and is easy to agree with. Who wouldn’t want to make America great? I’m with her, obviously, not going back, save democracy, etc. are all empty narcissistic virtue signaling slogans. Their primary message is that the person who put up the sign is a better than you, while saying nothing aspirational about the nation. It’s all about associating with the tribe and party that confers status.

If you see a house with an American flag, you can assume it’s occupied by patriots:

The most based lawn sign:

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PS: We must reeesist Christofascism!

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PPS: Remember the JibJab videos from the 2004 Election, which featured two uniparty warmongers who both were in Yale’s Skull & Bones? We’ve come so far, but still have a long way to go…